art shcool is nice

Very nice indeed! I have overcome my quivering fear of being so much older than these kids, and have put aside my terror of not being good at what i do.
I made it to the school didn't I? yes, why yes i most certainly did!
so strange, the sights you see every day, as if it were normal behavior. I suppose it is considered normal, since, as i said it does occur on the daily. The uncommon and absurd have become my close companions. the question of life and the vitality of consciousness is addressed within many of the conversations that are held between two young people who would otherwise seem immersed and enveloped in popular culture.
There is one place where i don't seem to fit in. Pop-culture. I don't Lady Gaga's songs, i don't know who the chick is who spells her name is a $ sign...so much of the mainstream culture of today's younger generation is a ghost to me, the dead skin dust of something that had already been done in the underground of my generation, and i find myself in complete disinterest. Ignorance, purely.

Anyways, I have created some interesting projects since I've been here, in this apocalyptic city. This gray, wet, bitterly cold run down place. A city of such beautiful architecture, a city drowned in gifted artists, smothered by sculptures. The weather is depressing. I am depressed. Kinda, not too depressed, not "I'm going to kill myself, i cant take it anymore!" depressed, but "If i don't see some color soon my eye balls will melt into a hot sticky syrup and slowly eat my skin like acid..." depressed.
Ever had the pleasure of reading that book The Rode? beautiful book, very much a tribute to Camus, a rebuttal to Dostoevsky. Anyways, that Kansas City, the film they made about that grey static book, they had to have filmed it here. This is not spring.


whatever, here is a picture of my final project for my arting the find class.
Its all paper. even the grey and the red, its just painted paper.
I was making it so that i would quit smoking...but the piece in all reality is a total failure, i got half way through it and started right back up....it was all the tubes i had to roll.

These are two of my rough drafts for the valentines i sent out this year. 

There were a few, but i only took picutes of these two, and only of them in thier first stage. 

So I have to go pack.
I'm going home to visit. Im so happy i could cry.

It looms. Metallic, glittering, purple supporting a golden goblet, topped with a golden winged woman.Her hair is perfect. All of this nestled atop a marble slab dubbing me the queen of the lakes. oh yes. i was a pageant baby.
Ears pierced at six weeks
First perm at three years.
Tap dance, Ballet, scratchy dresses, curling iron burns, frilly underpants, lipstick, rouge...everything.
I would refuse to wear the shoes, but my mother insisted that i would be a princess, and being a itty bitty attention whore of a child, i thought that being a princess sounded like a wonderful bargain for having to squeeze my pudgy little sausage toes into those shiny shoes.
Oh and there was a four foot my three foot portrait of my above the entrance living room my entire life, till recently when i went to my old house, where my drug addicted alcoholic dad lives now and peeled it off the wall...so now i have this giant portrait of myself, glowing, caked in make up, conniving, plotting smile,  the light of god shining down on my perm to show off the new highlights. Might i add, this was in a crystal white child's pageant dress also.
what the hell do i do with something like that?

The world of children pageants has drastically changed since i was a child, well, in hindsight the exposure of children to the cut throat and blood thirsty world of pageantry is left to the deranged and Disney moms. But now its gotten even crazier.
Check this ridiculous shit out

Shes like six...

TWELVE YEAR OLD OR NEW ANCHOR LADY???

Hey, and heres some art!

I thought i would share some of my work with you, little by little

Comrades

Hundreds of torn little pieces of paper to make this, one of my favorites and now it belongs to my brothers ex...my heart is just BROKEN

Jabuti,

Inspired by my little pet tortoise, also one of my favorites

a discussion with myself

Today at www.Juxtapoz.com, a wonderfully contemporary and constantly flowing body of art and artist i came across this article: Ai Weiwei an avant garde artist living in communist China is being held under house arrest because of his "social activism" Shanghai had even erected a huge gallery for him, then right before completion demanded it be torn down. It is sad when an artist is silenced it is horrifying when its the government.
This guy seriously filled a huge room full of hand crafted porcelain sun flower seeds. I mean who does that? He's crazy and i love it, anyways, I dont mean to preach, and everyone already knows everything that im about to say, but it needs to be drilled into our heads once more it seems.
What do we do? What do you do? How should we, being individuals react to such news? What can we do? What can we say? How do we help?
We live in a self absorbed world where the freedom of speech is becoming a tangled mess. We busy ourselves with outrageous addictions and indulgences, we busy ourselves with the pursuit of money and possessions to the point of numb blindness.
I am outraged, by the lack of empathy and the lack to activism by the people that i know and the people that i see every single day. We live life like the tomorrows are a promise and the food we eat is oozing from some never ending geyser of resources. We turn blind eye to the signs we are given, that our utopic bubbles are nothing but facade.
So, i found this website: API  and this one Art threat

we all know that art can make and break social norms. Just look at what Shepard Fairey's Obama did for the last election

 

Or what would happen if anybody publicly dictated and published the image of Muhammad as a political reference.

Art speaks, for itself and for demographics, or just an individual.

So many people don't think they have it in them to create something beautiful and i hear everyday "oh, but im not an artist" POPICOCK!
You are and you just don't know it, do you know how many pieces of art sell that look like a colorblind, fingerless, sick with gout four year old drew them (no offense to sufferers of any of the above)

 

Yeah i get it, it was challenging art, it was sooo important...and its also a pre-manufactured pisser with some dudes name on it. 

 My point is bad art is still art

so do something, anything and put it someplace public, leave it there. Graffiti up the city, beautify the suburbs, whatever you do, make a difference doing it.
I never want to see the day that an artist that i know is held captive for expression. 

My very very first baby blog

     I am currently living in a house with eight guys, not men and not boys, guys. I am an island of estrogen in a sea of testosterone, my vessel has sprung a leak and i am sinking into the abyss of the mans labyrinth. As i look out around me i see the light diminishing and the darkness absorbing me. The dishes glisten in the sink with what very well may be loogie, The toilet paper rolls piled nest to the toilet on top of the still remaining move in box from months ago, and the smell...oh the putrid odor (did somebody poop behind the washing machine?) are all signs that i have lost the battle of the sexes. Yes, i was out numbered but in singularity i believed that i was strong i believed that i could have prevailed and been dubbed the futures most fabulous mother...i could have nurtured my ovaries  overwhelming desire to be fruitful and multiply...and i have failed.
     OH well, i found a great place up north with a fireplace and two bedrooms within my price range today!!!
I'm moving on up, out of the wooden war zone to a cozy pozy little nook.
     I have about five weeks before i hear back from any of the schools i applied to, its killing me, the wait the anticipation, and anxiety.
You see, I'm in this giant transitional phase right now. I just got engaged (to my best friend and I'm so excited the man of my dreams!!!)  He is graduating, but not soon enough for me to start school where i want and it not be a problem. I have applied to and am waiting to hear back from CCA in San Francisco CA and KCAI in Kansas City MO. Were trying to sublet from the man's labyrinth and start our move to our new place and i need to find a job, because its too far of a drive and where i work really sucks.
So you see...large transitional period.
I am both elated and horrified.

But on the bright side Halloween was a big hit, and my birthday is coming up!